Where Two or Three are Gathered

 I read a reflection for this coming Sunday’s Gospel reading earlier this week which indicated that the familiar passage, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them,” (Matthew 18:20) might be taken as alarming due to our current situation.  How are we to know that those two or three are doing everything they can to limit the spread of the virus?

Personally, I see this as a hopeful passage for this moment in human history.  Even though we are not able to gather in larger groups safely, God is still with us.  He is always with us.  Further, if we entrust our prayers to God, we can be sure that He listens to them, whether or not we get the answer that we want, and whether we do so as individuals or as a community.  Of course, having a community behind you can’t do any harm.

This is an excellent moment for us to consider how we are reacting to our current situation.  Are we being prudent and cautious?  Are we being alarmist and potentially over-reacting?  Are we being reckless and careless toward those we might interact with on a regular basis?  Take some time for reflection, and try to discern how you can strike a balance between caution and practicality.

Above all, put your trust in God.  He will never abandon you, no matter how isolated you may feel.

Trust the Process

 We all have our own way of doing things.  When that way comes into conflict with someone else’s, it can lead to tension.  Sometimes, the other way is actually more efficient than our way and it leads to good changes in our own processes.  Other times, a different way just doesn’t work for us.  That’s okay.  We can respectfully move on with our lives, being grateful for the exposure to a different method, but leaving it for the other person to take advantage of.

The problem is, that is not what we as humans are inclined to do.  We may want to rebel.  We may want to change everyone else, to bring them around to our way of doing things because our way is obviously better (in our minds, at least).

This can lead to difficulties when we come up against a process that doesn’t work for us, but is the required way of completing a task.  When this happens, it helps to stop and try to understand why this way doesn’t work for us.  What can we learn about the way it must be done that might make it easier for us?  What might we need to change about ourselves in order to make it easier?

Rigidity can turn into a very bad thing if it is not maintained for good reason.

Often, you might hear the phrase “Trust the process” in regard to behavioral changes that are meant to better ourselves.  The same can be said for much more mundane processes, such as planning for an event and facing hurdles along the way.  What are we meant to learn from this struggle?  Is it something about ourselves?  Is it something about the process itself?  Is it meant to be a larger life lesson for us?

If you find yourself struggling to adapt as we enter the beginnings of our “new normal,” think about these things.  Take your struggles and feelings of uncertainty to God.  He is always present in our church buildings in the Eucharist, and He is always with us, even when it might feel as if He has abandoned us.  Never lose hope and faith in Him.

Constant Vigilance is Unrealistic for Us but NOT for God

You know why everyone pretty much ignored Mad-Eye Moody (or really Barty Crouch Jr., who was pretending to be Mad-Eye Moody) in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?  Probably because he was always harping on about constant vigilance, and people were tired.  People were tired of having to keep their guard up all the time.  They had lived through eleven years of Voldemort, followed by thirteen years of relative calm and they thought the worst was over.  Not Moody!  He knew what would happen when and if he relaxed, and it did.

Constantly being on alert is tiring.  We are tempted to give up when things get difficult or drag on for weeks or months on end.  We are merely human after all.  But that is not how God works.  God can maintain constant vigilance because He is a divine being.  He does not suffer the same “weaknesses” of humanity.  That is why we can and should always place our trust in Him.

Fr. Erik mentioned in his homily this past weekend that if God ever stopped caring for us, we would simply cease to exist.  This same theme comes up in our Gospel reading for this coming Sunday.  Peter goes to Jesus across the water of the Sea of Galilee and when he starts to doubt, he begins to sink.  But Jesus is there to lift him up again and help him back on the path of following him.

When our vigilance wavers, God is always there waiting for us to return to Him.  In what ways have you lost your path, and how can you ask for help to return to God?

Yes, Have Trust, But Be Prepared Too

This past weekend, I got to put the saying, “courage under fire” to a very literal test.  Saturday’s Crestwood Fire was mere streets away from my house.  I never thought I would ever spend an evening eating dinner and watching flames out the kitchen window.  I never thought I’d ever be so close to a wildfire that I could actually witness an air tanker dropping water or a crop duster plane dropping retardant.  To be quite honest, it’s an experience I hope I never have to repeat.

Smoke from the Crestwood Fire:

 

The resulting burn scar:

It was one of those moments when you realize, it can actually happen to you.  Those events in life, like natural disasters or personal tragedies, that always seem to affect other people can and will affect you too.  I also think it’s interesting to look at people’s responses to these kinds of events.  My parents took the view of wait and see what happens.  My neighbor across the street went closer to the fire to check it out.  I was of the opinion that, since fires can be unpredictable, we should be ready to evacuate.  I was running contingency plans through my brain at a pretty decent clip.

At first glance, my response might not seem very trusting, either in the first responders or in the power of God’s protection.  BUT, there is a saying, “God helps those who help themselves.”  Yes, it is important to trust in God, but if you don’t take action on your own and use the gifts He has given you to respond to these kinds of events, are you really trusting fully in God and recognizing how He is working in your life?

Thanks be to God, the firefighters were able to get control of the fire before it got out of hand.  No homes were affected, and no one was hurt.  It could have been so much worse.  That doesn’t mean it wasn’t unsettling still.  It was definitely a reality check, a wake up call. 

“It” can happen to you.  Inevitably, it will.  What will your response be?

Sledding in the Dark

There is a prime sledding hill within walking distance from my house.  It is, in my opinion, one of the best sledding hills in the Salt Lake Valley, and no, it isn’t located at Sugarhouse Park.  The reason I feel it is one of the best hills is because it offers something for everyone.  At the eastern end of the hill, it is steep and bumpy – perfect for the thrill-seeking older sledding enthusiast.  As you move west, the hill gets progressively easier – less steep and definitely less bumpy – so it’s great for little kids who might get scared at the eastern end.  I remember sledding there as a kid, and I would always grumble when Mom or Dad said it was time to go home because it was getting dark.  But, as is usually the case, Mom and Dad knew best.

If you drive by this hill after a decent snowfall, you will see cars lined up all along the hill and kids (and adults) of all ages on the slope.  In the past two years or so, there has even been a diehard group that goes to the sledding hill after dark.  I noticed them back again just last week.

Just think of the motivation and enthusiasm these people must have to go sledding in the dark.  They also have to have a significant amount confidence and trust that nothing will go seriously wrong.  Yes, they could use the headlights of their cars to light the way, but they are essentially sledding blind.

Try now to put this in the context of the apostles.  We heard of the calling of Andrew, Simon Peter, James, and John in last Sunday’s Gospel reading.  Think what their relatives and friends must have thought when they went off to follow Jesus.  How did they know where he would lead them?  Why abandon a perfectly good (if not entirely stable) job as a fisherman to go off with this man?  Why, why, why?  It must have seemed the height of nonsense, just as sledding in the dark seems to me.

Perhaps they did it for the thrill of something out of the ordinary, at least at first, but I doubt they felt quite as excited once they realized Jesus faced opposition.  Nevertheless, they stayed with him, to the end in John’s case, and most of the Apostles died as martyrs, having come back to Jesus after the resurrection.

Jesus kept them coming back, just as the lure of the sledding hill keeps bringing the thrill-seekers back, even in the dark.  Do we have the courage to listen to Jesus’ call as much as we listen to the temporal urges and longings of our hearts?

Bondad en los malos dias

The Spanish “Bondad en los malos dias” in English, can mean. “Goodness in bad days.”

I am pretty sure that once in a while you may experience bad days, days when you do not feel right and it shows in your actions, gestures and even in your face. And all of a sudden certain people close to you ask; “How are you? What happened? Or what’s wrong? And you might say depending on what’s bothering you, “I have a headache”, “I feel sick”, “I am hungry” or “I had a misunderstanding with someone”. The person asking that question about your condition is showing you a gesture of concern. But those who ask that question should also realize that the answers it produces headache, sick, hungry or a misunderstanding with someone does not automatically make the day bad.

If you are going to think deeper, was there ever a day in the entire history of mankind when everything is good and perfect? When no one had headaches, when no one was sick, or when no one was hungry. Perhaps, there has never been a moment in human history that there was a good and perfect day.

Many of us may think that the perfect days were the “good old days”, the days when we were younger, or like the days of the early church. Our early church was not as good as it may seem, there was disagreement between Peter and Paul, conflict between Paul and his companion Barnabas, but because of these disagreements or imperfect days, did that make our early church bad? No, because after their disagreement, after they parted ways, the result was the establishment of more churches.

 I believe we will always have good days and bad days. As a certain poem says; “Into each life some rain must fall.” The most important thing is not whether the sun is shining or not. The most important thing is not whether you are healthy or sick. The most important thing is that whether, in good days or bad days, in sickness or in health, in life or in death, it is the Lord who journeys with us.

Comfort Zones

What do we mean by Comfort Zones? Judith Bardwick says it is a state within which a person operates in an anxiety neutral position. Brene Brown says, “It is where our uncertainty, scarcity and vulnerability are minimized, where we believe we’ll have access to enough love, food, talent, time, admiration. Where we feel we have some control.” And many other psychologists refers to it as a state within which a person feels at ease, familiar, and in control, and experiences low anxiety. A person in this state uses a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk.

A Comfort Zone is an area which we are used to. It is plans, thoughts, words, actions and things that we love to do because with them we are assured of our happiness and success. We are used to them because it gives us a certain level of comfort. And so outside this zone, we become uncertain, insecure and unsure because we don’t know whether we will be happy or unhappy, successful or failures.

I believe that all of us have Comfort Zones. We do things that make us happy, we go with people that we are sure of. We go to places that are safe and secure. We do things where we can predict the outcome. We frequent restaurants that assure us of good and satisfying food and service. We make this; we plan that because we are sure of the outcome. These are our Comfort Zones.

The Apostles Simon, Andrew, James and John also had their own Comfort Zones. They were all fishermen. They were good at fishing. That was as far as they could go and fishing was their only Comfort Zone. Then here comes Jesus and invites them, “Come, follow me.” Following Jesus is way outside the boundaries of their Comfort Zones. They don’t know Jesus, they don’t what kind of word that this man Jesus is offering them, they don’t know where are they going to live, they don’t know what will happen to their families, but just the same they go beyond their Comfort Zones and do a heroic act: they follow Jesus. They just have found a new secure and reassuring Comfort Zone in Jesus.

Let us challenge ourselves to go beyond and move out of our Comfort Zones and discover life and discover Jesus. Some of us have so many fears, we have set our parameters so tightly around us that we cannot move anymore. Let us break loose, grow and discover new beginnings, new opportunities and more and wider Comfort Zones in life with God

A Weight Lifted

It has been a very busy few weeks for me.  Being in charge of RCIA means that I have many things to do leading up to the Easter Vigil and immediately following it.  Now that almost all of those things are finished, I feel like I have accomplished something and a weight has lifted from my shoulders.  When others are counting on you to ensure that events go smoothly, it can be very stressful.  When there is a lot to do, it can become pretty overwhelming.  I have found over the years that I handle situations like this better when I take things step by step and break down huge tasks into smaller ones.  This probably comes from my background as a special education teacher.  Task analysis was a large part of my job working with students with autism.  What parts of a given task are absolutely essential to its completion?  What parts are not necessary?  What parts are nice to do, but not required?  This has been my approach to all of my responsibilities these last few weeks.

And yes, taking a logical approach to stressful situations helps in dealing with them, but often, I feel like I forget the other important approach:  ask God for help.  God is always there, just waiting for us to come to Him during our times of difficulty.  The irony is that these times are often the same times that it is difficult for us to see that path.

Slow down, take a breath, and be still in the presence of God.  He will show you the way forward.

One Step at a Time

It’s really hard not to make comparisons between oneself and other people.  It is all too easy to look at others in one’s peer group and see all the ways in which other people seem to be doing so much better or be further along in their career paths and to dwell on one’s own perceived shortcomings.

God made each of us unique for a reason.  God has a plan for each of us, and it is impossible for us to know what that plan is.  That doesn’t mean that each individual’s choices don’t have an impact, or that it might not be discouraging for it to seem like one is behind or constantly trying to catch up to one’s peers.

Progress is made one step at a time.  For some, the steps are larger than for others.  For some, the steps are surefooted and certain.  For others, they are more hesitant.  One moves forward at one’s own pace, trying to make sure not to slip and fall backwards.

It is important to have trust in the process.  It is important to recognize when God provides challenges as an opportunity for growth.  God never gives us more than we can handle.  Trust that He knows what He is doing.

Do You See Jesus?

I’m so inspired to see that many of our parishioners, both the young and adults, are really concerned to find ways and means to improve their spirituality.  Some of them even ask priests, nuns and lay leaders to be their Spiritual Director.  Parishioners ask these people for Spiritual Direction.  What is Spiritual Direction?  This is a spiritual exercise that explores a deeper relationship with the spiritual aspect of being human.  I liked the analogy used from the biblical text; The story of Road to Emmaus, to describe certain aspects of Spiritual Direction.  There are two reasons why I am inspired by it.

First, I like it because it is a journey of two friends conversing about Jesus.  They tried to discern and to understand the words and actions of Jesus.  It depicts the aspect of nurturing relationships.  The two disciples shared companionship as they walked and talked together.  The disciples found support in one another during their moments of grief, depression, anger, fear and even stress on their way to Emmaus.  They trusted one another enough to share their feelings and found in each other a trusted listener, to help them each express their emotions in a constructive and healing manner.  It is also beautiful to take note, that as they try to nurture, console, and help each other, Jesus all of sudden came into the picture and accompanied them in their journey.  I believe that Spiritual Direction is like that.  When people try to love and help each other through listening and a genuine desire to guide, the presence of God will surely be in their midst.  The scripture says:  “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” (Mt 18:20).

Second, the disciples failed to recognize Jesus because of their state of desolation.  Desolation kept them from seeing and from recognizing Jesus.  Sadness, loneliness and desolation are all valid human emotions.  In Spiritual Direction and in psycho-spiritual therapy, a person should not deny nor resist these emotions.  On the contrary, a person should acknowledge these emotions as part of human life.  And after the acknowledgement,  learn to discern and discover that the God we worship in the heavens is the same God who journeys with us here on earth.

Jesus is present when you call him.  Jesus is present in your pain.  Jesus is our companion, not only in the most joyful and glorious moments of our lives, but also accompanies us even in the most turbulent and disastrous experiences of our lives.  The only question is; do we have the eyes of faith to see Jesus?

Plan B

Today is my grandmother's birthday.  She passed away in 2010, but it is still a day of celebration of her life for my family.  It also puts me in mind of other members of our family we have lost.  

Next month, it will be four years since my uncle passed away suddenly.  It left his immediate family, as well as our extended family, reeling with the loss.  Why did God take him so soon?  How were we supposed to go on if he wasn’t here anymore?  People who experience a sudden loss often feel like they are adrift for some time after the event.  My aunt is still trying to come to terms with what she and my cousins refer to as “Plan B.”  

There have been many changes in our lives since then.  One of my cousins got married.  My aunt moved halfway across the country to be closer to her sister.  We made the decision as a family to sell my grandmother’s house, which we had kept and rented after her death.

The Utah contingent of our family lost our link to Southern California.  My brother commented at the time that it was like a line out of Tolkien:  “The time of the elves [or in this case, the immigrant members of our family in California] is over.”  For us as well, there have been implications:  new health tests, lifestyle changes, and different vacation plans (if any at all) than we were used to.

Life throws curve balls at us.  It can be a test of the strength of our will and our faith how we respond to these challenges.  This week, a parishioner shared with me some wisdom that had been shared with her at the time of her own loss:  “God didn’t take him.  He welcomed him home.”

Going through dramatic and traumatic changes can alter us as individuals.  Do we turn away from God at times like these, or do we embrace Him and turn to Him to console us?  It is a choice all of us will have to make at one time or other in our lives.

Take a Breath

For me, October seemed extremely busy.  I’m sure part of it was due to the fact that I am in the first year of a new job and finding out all the things that needed to be done before November started.  Last week I felt like I could finally take a breath and think about other things – things that I had been putting on the back-burner for the last month because it felt like I just didn’t have time.  With the approach of the holiday season, I know things will get busy again, perhaps even more so, because there will be family commitments and events in my personal life as well as things going on at work.

This in-between time of fewer commitments and more time spent with my family emphasizes to me that God never gives us more than we can handle.  It might feel like we are being pushed to our limits, but He will never push us past our limits.  And, when He pushes us to our limits, there is usually time afterward to recover ourselves and regain our former strength.

So, when we are going through a difficult period in our lives, we should remember that God, who is all-knowing, knows what is best for us.  He gives us times of struggle so we have a chance to turn to Him for help.  If we turn to Him in prayer, whether directly or through the intercession of the Saints, He will provide an answer for us.

Keep the Plates Spinning

My mantra this week has been “Keep the plates spinning.”  When I was growing up, we had a VHS compilation of segments from “The Ed Sullivan Show” and in it, there was a plate-spinning act.  The idea was to see how many plates one could keep spinning at the same time. 

Plate-spinning was a one-person act, which upped the suspense level.  Could one person do it all alone?  It made for great entertainment, because of the potential for things to go wrong.  But what if there were more people involved?  What if, instead of just one person, there were multiple people, each trying to make sure all the plates kept spinning?  That could be just as disastrous.

Sometimes, there seems to be so much going on, it is a struggle to keep just a few plates spinning.  Other times, it is easier.  Sometimes the plates are on a counter or table with little risk of falling and shattering.  Other times the plates are spinning on sticks and the worst could happen at any moment.

The point is, when organizations are run effectively and efficiently, each person is responsible for their set of plates and their set of plates alone.  There is division of duties so that no one person has too many plates.  It makes a seemingly insurmountable task manageable.

I feel like we are in the middle of a plate-spinning act at St. Ambrose right now.  At least, that’s how it has felt on the administrative side of the parish.  There are so many programs to keep going, and at the moment our chief plate-spinner, Fr. Andrzej, has stepped away from the table.  It now falls to those of us who remain to “pick up the slack” as it were.

The important thing to realize is that, at the very core, we are invested in keeping our Church alive, even in the face of adversity.  There may be some fumbles and some slips along the way, but we will come out the other side of this difficult time.  The hope is that we come out stronger.  We just have to rely on one another a little bit more and be willing to help in whatever way we can.  We know that we can always rely on God’s help to resolve our difficulties.  It may not be in the way we want or expect, but He always listens and answers our prayers.

Having Trust in the Lord

On Tuesday, I received what should be good news from a medical procedure.  However, in the moment, it didn’t feel like good news.  It just meant I had eliminated one thing from a list of possible problems.  I have a good relationship with the doctor whom I saw.  In fact, when I began my medical “adventures” as I like to call them, he was one of the only people who acknowledged that there was a problem to begin with.  I found out yesterday that he is retiring next month.  It felt as if he was abandoning me, even though another of his colleagues will continue to follow me.  There have been many changes in my “care team” in the last few years, as those I have known and trusted have left their practices to other professionals.  I find consolation in the fact that my new doctors are and will be trusted colleagues of those who came before. 

This situation reminded me of the story of the person walking along the seashore with Jesus at his side.  Looking back, the person saw two sets of footprints in the sand.  As this person walked through life, he faced many challenges.  When he looked back at these times, he saw only one set of footprints.  The person asked Jesus, “Why did you abandon me at my weakest moments?”  Jesus replied to him, “It was at those moments that I carried you.”

There are times when life seems very difficult and perhaps hard to understand.  At these moments, it is tempting to believe that God is not with us, that He may have abandoned us, in fact.  It is precisely at these times, however, that we need to remember that God is always with us.  As Jesus said in Matthew 6:34, “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.  Sufficient for a day is its own evil.” God takes care of the lowliest creatures, so why should He not take care of us?  God will always be there for us.  We just have to remember to turn to Him in our times of need.