I once heard someone say that to tell people to give until it hurts was not good advice. This person argued that one should tell people to give until it feels good. I think the same can be said for being open and honest with people. If you go around pretending to be someone you’re not, you may end up disappointing people because you didn’t live up to their expectations of you, whether warranted or not. And when you disappoint people you may wind up feeling disappointed in yourself. And then, it could turn into a cycle of disappointment, and nobody would be very happy.
That doesn’t sound like a very pleasant way to live, does it? What if you changed the situation from the very beginning? If you are honest with others when they ask you questions, yes, you may disappoint them at first, and that may not feel very good. But they will learn more about you through your honesty. They will learn what they can expect from you. They will most likely respect you more for being open than for pretending to be something or someone you are not. In the long run, you will develop stronger relationships because you build trust through honesty.
I have often had people say to me, “Why don’t you do things a different way?” or “Why don’t you try changing x about yourself?” My answer is simple: because that’s not me. If I change something about myself to make people like me better, that is no way to live. I would be living a lie, disappointing myself, and making myself miserable. Not to mention, when I am no longer able to keep up the charade, I am going to let people down who think I fit the mold of what I have pretended to be.
So, tell the truth, be open, be candid. You will gather a group of people around you who know the real you and respect you for who you are. And I doubt you will miss those who may have liked you for a mere appearance anyway.