Constant Vigilance is Unrealistic for Us but NOT for God

You know why everyone pretty much ignored Mad-Eye Moody (or really Barty Crouch Jr., who was pretending to be Mad-Eye Moody) in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?  Probably because he was always harping on about constant vigilance, and people were tired.  People were tired of having to keep their guard up all the time.  They had lived through eleven years of Voldemort, followed by thirteen years of relative calm and they thought the worst was over.  Not Moody!  He knew what would happen when and if he relaxed, and it did.

Constantly being on alert is tiring.  We are tempted to give up when things get difficult or drag on for weeks or months on end.  We are merely human after all.  But that is not how God works.  God can maintain constant vigilance because He is a divine being.  He does not suffer the same “weaknesses” of humanity.  That is why we can and should always place our trust in Him.

Fr. Erik mentioned in his homily this past weekend that if God ever stopped caring for us, we would simply cease to exist.  This same theme comes up in our Gospel reading for this coming Sunday.  Peter goes to Jesus across the water of the Sea of Galilee and when he starts to doubt, he begins to sink.  But Jesus is there to lift him up again and help him back on the path of following him.

When our vigilance wavers, God is always there waiting for us to return to Him.  In what ways have you lost your path, and how can you ask for help to return to God?

Remembering You!

I will surely miss all of you, parishioners of St. Ambrose, with the exact same feeling I miss all of the people I love back home. I am sure you also miss your loved ones if you are separated by hundreds or thousands of miles apart.

It is such a normal thing to miss those we love. The ones we love become so much part of our lives and our beings, that when they are not there to share with us physically, we feel the pinch badly. Then matters get worse when we can’t seem to get hold of ourselves and do something significant and worthwhile even just to shield the pain a little and distract ourselves. No doubt, these are difficult moments. We cannot help but wish sometimes that our loved ones can stay by our side as long and as often as possible.

Whenever the holidays are coming, holidays like Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Season and New Year, it is indeed tempting to cry in our little corners and justify all this by saying that we are grieving or that we cannot help feeling this emptiness because the one we miss are just too important to forget so easily. Then we keep wishing and praying that they would come back to us. Wonderful memories of the past replaying in our minds sometimes have a way of surfacing into our conscious mind and make us wish to have that memories be a present reality.

Undeniably, these memories can be so beautiful and soothing but sometimes they are the very blocks that stop us from moving forward. Imagine if we could all be with all those we love forever. There would be no more grief or sadness from their loss. But that is not reality. Perhaps, the yearning is a foretaste of heaven. We can never really possess God while we are on earth. We have moments of great consolation when we feel his presence and love in those who love us but even that is not forever.

Our prayer then cannot be for God to keep our precious ones with us always. Our prayer ought to be that our love be so deep and so real that it has the power to go beyond time and space and any other physical or psychological limitations.

All of you will surely be missed. Thank you for everything!

Bondad en los malos dias

The Spanish “Bondad en los malos dias” in English, can mean. “Goodness in bad days.”

I am pretty sure that once in a while you may experience bad days, days when you do not feel right and it shows in your actions, gestures and even in your face. And all of a sudden certain people close to you ask; “How are you? What happened? Or what’s wrong? And you might say depending on what’s bothering you, “I have a headache”, “I feel sick”, “I am hungry” or “I had a misunderstanding with someone”. The person asking that question about your condition is showing you a gesture of concern. But those who ask that question should also realize that the answers it produces headache, sick, hungry or a misunderstanding with someone does not automatically make the day bad.

If you are going to think deeper, was there ever a day in the entire history of mankind when everything is good and perfect? When no one had headaches, when no one was sick, or when no one was hungry. Perhaps, there has never been a moment in human history that there was a good and perfect day.

Many of us may think that the perfect days were the “good old days”, the days when we were younger, or like the days of the early church. Our early church was not as good as it may seem, there was disagreement between Peter and Paul, conflict between Paul and his companion Barnabas, but because of these disagreements or imperfect days, did that make our early church bad? No, because after their disagreement, after they parted ways, the result was the establishment of more churches.

 I believe we will always have good days and bad days. As a certain poem says; “Into each life some rain must fall.” The most important thing is not whether the sun is shining or not. The most important thing is not whether you are healthy or sick. The most important thing is that whether, in good days or bad days, in sickness or in health, in life or in death, it is the Lord who journeys with us.

Marian Titles: Refuge of Sinners, Comforter of the Afflicted, Help of Christians

Throughout the month of May, this blog has focused on titles of Mary from the Litany of Loreto.  Today, we have the fifth and final installment.

Refuge of Sinners

As with most of the Marian titles we have discussed in this series, it is easiest to understand this title through the context of Jesus.  God chose Mary to be the mother of Jesus and created her free from sin from the very instant of her conception.  He made Mary a refuge from sin to carry his son.  But this title is not Refuge from Sin, but rather Refuge of Sinners.  Why?  Because Mary is our spiritual mother as well.  In her, we find a place that is free from sin, and thus a place where we can seek safety from the temptations of this world.  As the Advent hymn “Rorate Caeli” says, “We all have sinned and are become like those who are unclean” but “Be now comforted, O you my people, for most speedily comes salvation.”  Our salvation was brought about through Mary, and thus, she is our refuge.

Comforter of the Afflicted

Mary herself suffered greatly during her lifetime.  Simeon foretold that “you yourself, a sword shall pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed” (Luke 2:35).  Because Mary suffered, she is able to understand our suffering.  No matter how great it may be, we can be reassured that Mary understands our pain.

Help of Christians

The final title we shall discuss from the Litany of Loreto, though not the final title the Litany contains, demonstrates that Mary is our intercessor to her son, Jesus, and to God the Father.  Throughout history, Mary has been deemed a particularly effective intercessor for us.  Healings have occurred, battles have been won, and countless prayers have been answered because of her.

Through delving a little deeper into the titles of Mary we have explored this month, I hope you have found a title that speaks to you.  Each of these titles constitutes a special devotion to Mary in a specific context.  If there is a title that we discussed you would like to know more about, Google searches for each title bring up numerous results for you to peruse and explore.

As the month of May comes to a close, let us pray that Mary, our mother, will be with us always and intercede for us.

Experiencing God

An author by the name of Jeanette Bakke said, “We may recognize God’s presence in ways that seem exquisitely gentle or almost ferocious.” These words remind me of Elijah’s story wishing to find and experience God in the midst of persecution. He found God not in the powerful wind, not in the earthquake and certainly not in the fire but in a gentle whisper (1 Kings 19:1112).

God is always present, that was His promise, that He will never leave His people until the end of time (Mt 28:20). His presence reaches out to everyone who wishes to develop a genuine and loving relationship with Him. One can compare God to air. One cannot see the air, but there is no doubt that it exists, because without air, one will surely die. God is like the air, one can sometimes feel the warmth of His love and sometimes, others would say that He is cold, simply because He did not answer one’s prayers or plea. Whatever maybe the case, God’s presence will always be there for His people, everyday and every time, that is why one of His attributes is omnipresence. This attribute of God means He is always present. He is present in one’s joy, pain, suffering, sickness and even death. How can an individual experience the presence of God? In my opinion, by simply being conscious that He is present.

 I once had a rough week because of many scheduled appointments, chores in the rectory and church, confessions, Masses, spiritual direction sessions, counseling sessions, school work, catechism classes and evening meetings with different organizations. It took a toll on me. I felt dry and exhausted. I couldn’t reflect and prepare well for my homilies. And I was distracted in my prayers. After that week I decided to go to Seal Beach to clear my head. This beach was just a 15 to 20 minute drive from the parish. I intend to pray my Liturgy of the Hours and talk to God at the beach. When I arrived, there were only handful of people present, the sun was about to set and the sound of the waves were so amazing to hear. I felt like the waves invited me to listen to their symphony.

With great awe and wonder, I just sat on the clean sand and simply enjoyed the beautiful moment. I was so absorbed that I didn’t realized that almost an hour had passed. I wasn’t able to say my Liturgy of the Hours, I wasn’t even listening to God to what He was about to tell me at that moment and situation in my life. I just know that God was there, silent beside me. It was a very reassuring moment that He was there to love me.

 I went back to the parish smiling and I didn't even know why I was smiling. I felt energized and I felt peace. I know and I simply believe that I experienced God at the beach.

Sadness to New Life

All of us know what sadness is, because all of us have experienced being sad. We all know the meaning of sadness. The meaning that I am referring to is not the meaning that comes from Wikipedia or from a dictionary, but a meaning that comes from our experience of sadness. There are people who claim that priests or single people are sadder than married people. It is because they associate sadness with being alone.

We all know and experience being sad. It is like looking at your email or facebook and there is no message from a person who is special to you. It is like hearing a phone ringing; expecting a phone call from a friend, and then, it is a different person on the line. It is like leaving the garage, knowing that your friend, your wife, your husband would have to be away for a long, long time. We all know the experience of sadness. And Jesus, being truly human knew what sadness meant as well.

The cure for sadness is not being with friends, the cure for sadness is not marriage. The cure to sadness is “time”. We have to be patient. All of us go through sadness. Sadness is not a dead end that we must avoid. Sadness is a road that all of us have to pass through, because at the end of that road, there is only new life. And only people who are willing to face the troubles, the pains of sadness will be able to discover the beauty and power of life. Those people who are willing to walk in the darkness of the night are the only ones who can see the beauty of the stars.

Indeed, sadness is painful, but it is a beautiful pain because it is pain that leads to life. A woman needs to undergo the pain of childbirth in order to give life. Furthermore, let us look on Jesus, He did not escape sadness. In His agony in the Garden of Olives, He said, “Father if it is possible, take this cup of suffering away from me.” In His agony on the cross, He also cried out: “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?” Let us all remember that the Heart of Jesus felt that pain of sadness like we all do. He understands what we are all going through. But the heart of Jesus did not run away or escape from sadness. The Heart of Jesus faced sadness with a great amount of courage; and because of that, all of us now are experiencing new life.

Do You See Jesus?

I’m so inspired to see that many of our parishioners, both the young and adults, are really concerned to find ways and means to improve their spirituality.  Some of them even ask priests, nuns and lay leaders to be their Spiritual Director.  Parishioners ask these people for Spiritual Direction.  What is Spiritual Direction?  This is a spiritual exercise that explores a deeper relationship with the spiritual aspect of being human.  I liked the analogy used from the biblical text; The story of Road to Emmaus, to describe certain aspects of Spiritual Direction.  There are two reasons why I am inspired by it.

First, I like it because it is a journey of two friends conversing about Jesus.  They tried to discern and to understand the words and actions of Jesus.  It depicts the aspect of nurturing relationships.  The two disciples shared companionship as they walked and talked together.  The disciples found support in one another during their moments of grief, depression, anger, fear and even stress on their way to Emmaus.  They trusted one another enough to share their feelings and found in each other a trusted listener, to help them each express their emotions in a constructive and healing manner.  It is also beautiful to take note, that as they try to nurture, console, and help each other, Jesus all of sudden came into the picture and accompanied them in their journey.  I believe that Spiritual Direction is like that.  When people try to love and help each other through listening and a genuine desire to guide, the presence of God will surely be in their midst.  The scripture says:  “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” (Mt 18:20).

Second, the disciples failed to recognize Jesus because of their state of desolation.  Desolation kept them from seeing and from recognizing Jesus.  Sadness, loneliness and desolation are all valid human emotions.  In Spiritual Direction and in psycho-spiritual therapy, a person should not deny nor resist these emotions.  On the contrary, a person should acknowledge these emotions as part of human life.  And after the acknowledgement,  learn to discern and discover that the God we worship in the heavens is the same God who journeys with us here on earth.

Jesus is present when you call him.  Jesus is present in your pain.  Jesus is our companion, not only in the most joyful and glorious moments of our lives, but also accompanies us even in the most turbulent and disastrous experiences of our lives.  The only question is; do we have the eyes of faith to see Jesus?

Plan B

Today is my grandmother's birthday.  She passed away in 2010, but it is still a day of celebration of her life for my family.  It also puts me in mind of other members of our family we have lost.  

Next month, it will be four years since my uncle passed away suddenly.  It left his immediate family, as well as our extended family, reeling with the loss.  Why did God take him so soon?  How were we supposed to go on if he wasn’t here anymore?  People who experience a sudden loss often feel like they are adrift for some time after the event.  My aunt is still trying to come to terms with what she and my cousins refer to as “Plan B.”  

There have been many changes in our lives since then.  One of my cousins got married.  My aunt moved halfway across the country to be closer to her sister.  We made the decision as a family to sell my grandmother’s house, which we had kept and rented after her death.

The Utah contingent of our family lost our link to Southern California.  My brother commented at the time that it was like a line out of Tolkien:  “The time of the elves [or in this case, the immigrant members of our family in California] is over.”  For us as well, there have been implications:  new health tests, lifestyle changes, and different vacation plans (if any at all) than we were used to.

Life throws curve balls at us.  It can be a test of the strength of our will and our faith how we respond to these challenges.  This week, a parishioner shared with me some wisdom that had been shared with her at the time of her own loss:  “God didn’t take him.  He welcomed him home.”

Going through dramatic and traumatic changes can alter us as individuals.  Do we turn away from God at times like these, or do we embrace Him and turn to Him to console us?  It is a choice all of us will have to make at one time or other in our lives.

Regaining Clarity

I’ll just say it.  The air quality this summer has been absolutely terrible.  It was such a nice surprise to be able to see the Salt Lake Valley on my way to work yesterday morning.  Thank God for the cleansing rain!   Unfortunately, the storm on Wednesday blew a lot of smoke into the valley again, so our respite was fleeting.  Nevertheless, we know that there is the possibility of clearer days ahead.

Regaining the physical ability to see the valley only to have it obscured the next day, reminded me that there are always opportunities to look for the gifts that God is giving us.  Sometimes they may be more difficult to see than usual, but they are still there.  Saint Ignatius called these times of haziness in our life “desolation.”  He called the times of clarity “consolation.”  When we are in desolation, it may seem difficult to talk with God.  It may be hard to see the good things in our life.  The times of consolation are easier.  During these times, we should strive to thank God for all the things He is doing for us, whether we realize it or not.

This week, try to see the gifts God wants to give you each day.