Loving the Other as "Other"

“All of Paul’s ‘fruits of the Holy Spirit’ are marks of an outward-looking, expansive magna anima (great soul), which stands in contradistinction to the pusilla anima (the cramped soul) of the sinner.  Thus love is willing the good of the other as other; joy is self-diffusive; patience bears with the troublesome; kindness makes the other gentle; self-control restricts the havoc that the ego can cause; etc.” – Bishop Robert Barron, daily Gospel reflection for June 27, 2018

When I read this quote from Bishop Barron, I thought how applicable it is to the experience of families with varied religious backgrounds, a fitting subject as this week brings to a close Religious Freedom Week.  For instance, my father was raised Mormon, though he has not been a practicing member for decades.  My brother was raised Catholic and is now a member of the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA).  My mother and I are practicing Catholics.  This makes for some interesting conversation around the dinner table, especially at the holidays when we see other relatives from my dad’s side who are still practicing Mormons.

If we strive to love in the manner that Bishop Barron talks about in this quote, we need to love “the other as other.”  That is, we need to accept others with differing beliefs.  We need to recognize that belief, regardless of what it is, may be rooted in years of tradition.  Because of this, human beings can be very passionate about this aspect of our lives.  This is why the old rule of etiquette was “Never discuss religion or politics.”

Jesus showed us the value of showing love and respect toward those of differing faiths and/or cultural backgrounds.  He gave us the parable of the Good Samaritan, which models good and ethical behavior toward those of other cultural backgrounds.  He modeled polite discussion with people with varying religious beliefs (e.g., the Pharisees and Sadducees).  He ate with tax collectors and associated with prostitutes, and he treated them with respect.

Mary too, in her apparitions has shown us the values of diversity.  She has appeared to people all over the world in the form of a woman of the particular ethnic group of the region (e.g., as Our Lady of Guadalupe).  In Jesus and Mary, we have good examples to follow.

Next week, we will recognize Independence Day here in the United States.  The early European settlers of this country were Puritans seeking a place where they could practice their religion freely.  The founding fathers wrote freedom of religion into the Declaration of Independence.  Let us pray that our current government leaders will continue to champion the freedoms so many seek when they come to the United States.

Like an Old Friend

Mass is essentially the same wherever you go.  It might be in a different language or have different music than you are accustomed to, but you can still follow along with relative ease.  I have been privileged to travel to Europe several times, and I have heard Mass in Latin, German, French, and Hungarian.  On my most recent trip two years ago this month, my mother was amazed that I was able to follow along so well with the music at a Mass in a small village in Hungary.  I told her that because I know the basic rules of pronunciation for the language, it wasn’t that difficult.  Mass is Mass.

This week at St. Ambrose, we had a funeral Mass with many elements in Latin.  It is important to note that, while the Second Vatican Council allowed the use of the vernacular in Masses and sacraments, it did not say that Latin could not be used (Sacrosanctum Concilium).  And yes, there were parts of the Mass I did not understand.  However, it felt more like a greeting from an old friend than an imposition of times past.

I realize that I may come at this from a unique perspective.  I learned many Latin Mass settings during my years at the Madeleine Choir School.  It’s always fun to get to sing them again.  It had been over ten years since I had sung the setting of the “Pie Jesu” we used at this funeral.  Pulling it out again brought back memories of the last time I sang it.

I think it is good for us to revisit the “old ways” from time to time.  It reminds us where we came from and where we have been.  We need the lessons of history to help us move forward.  For me, using the Latin texts makes me feel as if I am strengthening my prayers.  It makes me feel as if I am closer to God.  Anything that draws us closer to God is worth pursuing.  I am grateful for the opportunities I have now, and those I have had in the past, to participate in varied liturgies.

What do you use to enhance your own prayer life?  How might you incorporate different elements to deepen your relationship with God?

Having Trust in the Lord

On Tuesday, I received what should be good news from a medical procedure.  However, in the moment, it didn’t feel like good news.  It just meant I had eliminated one thing from a list of possible problems.  I have a good relationship with the doctor whom I saw.  In fact, when I began my medical “adventures” as I like to call them, he was one of the only people who acknowledged that there was a problem to begin with.  I found out yesterday that he is retiring next month.  It felt as if he was abandoning me, even though another of his colleagues will continue to follow me.  There have been many changes in my “care team” in the last few years, as those I have known and trusted have left their practices to other professionals.  I find consolation in the fact that my new doctors are and will be trusted colleagues of those who came before. 

This situation reminded me of the story of the person walking along the seashore with Jesus at his side.  Looking back, the person saw two sets of footprints in the sand.  As this person walked through life, he faced many challenges.  When he looked back at these times, he saw only one set of footprints.  The person asked Jesus, “Why did you abandon me at my weakest moments?”  Jesus replied to him, “It was at those moments that I carried you.”

There are times when life seems very difficult and perhaps hard to understand.  At these moments, it is tempting to believe that God is not with us, that He may have abandoned us, in fact.  It is precisely at these times, however, that we need to remember that God is always with us.  As Jesus said in Matthew 6:34, “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.  Sufficient for a day is its own evil.” God takes care of the lowliest creatures, so why should He not take care of us?  God will always be there for us.  We just have to remember to turn to Him in our times of need.

The Importance of Being a Good Example

On Sunday afternoon, my mom and I went for a walk around Silver Lake, in Big Cottonwood Canyon near Brighton.  This is one of our favorite places to go when we want to escape the heat of the valley in the summer.  As we were walking around the lake, we passed a man and what appeared to be his adult children.  Another passerby might not have noticed, but my mom saw the Hungarian emblem on this man’s shirt and asked him if he was Hungarian.  It turns out this man was born in New Jersey to Hungarian parents who came to the United States after the 1956 revolution in Hungary.  My mother was born in Hungary at the end of the Second World War and came to the US in 1960.  They started conversing in Hungarian, and I was amazed at how little of an accent this man had.  He didn’t sound Hungarian when speaking English, but he didn’t sound American when speaking Hungarian either.  He learned Hungarian as his first language, and English as his second.  As they spoke, I caught a word here and there that I understood, but it seemed his young adult children did not understand anything that was said.

This got me thinking.  In both my mother’s and this man’s case, the parents who lived through a culture shift and revolution kept the language of their homeland alive for their children who grew up in the US.  The next generation, however, did not learn the language.  Why?  Was it a simple matter of assimilation?  A lack of motivation on the parts of our first generation American parents?  Our own lack of interest as the children of native speakers?

I think this situation could apply to what is happening in the Church today, with more and more youth leaving as they get older.  Youth with parents who make church a priority and set a good example for their children may be more likely to continue attending church as they grow into adulthood.  Youth who grow up surrounded by traditions are more likely to keep those traditions and pass them on to future generations.

To bring it back to my own experience, I picked up most of the Hungarian I now recognize from repeated exposure as a child.  Similarly, I recall that I didn’t so much memorize the prayers we say at Mass through isolated practice but through repeated exposure at Mass.  My cousins, the children of my mother’s brother, on the other hand, who were raised in an environment where the use of Hungarian was less accepted, didn’t pick up as much of the language as I did.  These same cousins are not regular church goers as adults either.  The two are not related in any way, other than perhaps the example of my uncle was less effective than it could have been compared with my mother’s.

In order to keep a culture alive, people need an example to follow.  By the same token, in order to keep our churches and faith vibrant in the future, we need to first examine our own behaviors and attitudes.  What sort of example are we setting for the next generation?

In the comments, feel free to share your own ideas or experiences on this topic.