The Importance of Being a Good Example

On Sunday afternoon, my mom and I went for a walk around Silver Lake, in Big Cottonwood Canyon near Brighton.  This is one of our favorite places to go when we want to escape the heat of the valley in the summer.  As we were walking around the lake, we passed a man and what appeared to be his adult children.  Another passerby might not have noticed, but my mom saw the Hungarian emblem on this man’s shirt and asked him if he was Hungarian.  It turns out this man was born in New Jersey to Hungarian parents who came to the United States after the 1956 revolution in Hungary.  My mother was born in Hungary at the end of the Second World War and came to the US in 1960.  They started conversing in Hungarian, and I was amazed at how little of an accent this man had.  He didn’t sound Hungarian when speaking English, but he didn’t sound American when speaking Hungarian either.  He learned Hungarian as his first language, and English as his second.  As they spoke, I caught a word here and there that I understood, but it seemed his young adult children did not understand anything that was said.

This got me thinking.  In both my mother’s and this man’s case, the parents who lived through a culture shift and revolution kept the language of their homeland alive for their children who grew up in the US.  The next generation, however, did not learn the language.  Why?  Was it a simple matter of assimilation?  A lack of motivation on the parts of our first generation American parents?  Our own lack of interest as the children of native speakers?

I think this situation could apply to what is happening in the Church today, with more and more youth leaving as they get older.  Youth with parents who make church a priority and set a good example for their children may be more likely to continue attending church as they grow into adulthood.  Youth who grow up surrounded by traditions are more likely to keep those traditions and pass them on to future generations.

To bring it back to my own experience, I picked up most of the Hungarian I now recognize from repeated exposure as a child.  Similarly, I recall that I didn’t so much memorize the prayers we say at Mass through isolated practice but through repeated exposure at Mass.  My cousins, the children of my mother’s brother, on the other hand, who were raised in an environment where the use of Hungarian was less accepted, didn’t pick up as much of the language as I did.  These same cousins are not regular church goers as adults either.  The two are not related in any way, other than perhaps the example of my uncle was less effective than it could have been compared with my mother’s.

In order to keep a culture alive, people need an example to follow.  By the same token, in order to keep our churches and faith vibrant in the future, we need to first examine our own behaviors and attitudes.  What sort of example are we setting for the next generation?

In the comments, feel free to share your own ideas or experiences on this topic.