As I stand before the cross with a hammer in one hand and a nail in the other, Jesus asks me “Do you love me?” Love, what is love? I ready the nail for his hand. You want too much. You ask me to acknowledge my sin, give it up even. It’s part of who I am. How dare you ask me to give it up? I drive the nail into his hand. Can you not accept me for who I am? Can’t you love me as I am?
I look into his face and see his kind loving eyes, even as I ready the nail for the next hand. His eyes were full of love. But I can’t accept that kind of love. I like my sin. How dare he call it sin? I drive the nail into the second hand. I go to pick up the nail for his feet. As I reach for it, I feel his eyes on me. I look again.
“You are so much more than your sin. Let me set you free of its chains.” His eyes say it all. I drop the hammer next to the nail and kneel at the cross. I’m ready to let go of my sin and let Christ be my Lord.
“I’m sorry, Lord. I’m sorry for thinking I know better than you.” I am more than my sin. I can be forgiven and overcome it. He will help me. I bask in His glory, knowing how much He has given for me. The author of life. He has given me everything, and knows me better than I know myself. Only he can know my full worth. And He loves me from the cross I put Him on with my sin.
He draws me still deeper. He doesn’t just want to forgive my sin. He wants me to join Him. For us to be one. I’m to be part of the Body of Christ. What joy! What must I do Lord?
“Join me on the cross.” What now? You want me to suffer? Maybe I’m happy right here at the foot of the cross looking on. “The way to Me is through your suffering. Don’t worry. You will never be alone.”
I look again at those kind eyes. He is my all, my everything. How could I deny Him anything? He doesn’t want to be on the cross alone. Not knowing the cost to myself, I get up from my knees and climb on the cross. Nails are driven into my hands. The pain is intense. But it is made sweet by His presence. This suffering is so much better than when I was suffering from my sins. This I can endure and I’m with my Lord.
“Yes, Lord. I love you.”